I just have a few thoughts running through my head that I did not want to share with FB.
My cousin passed away yesterday...we went to the hospital and the coroner came and picked her up. How on earth do you react to a situation when you know everything is alright.
I feel like my body is numb with emotion. I am emotionless because we don't talk with the family. First off we left "The Church" my Uncle Pastored when I was like maybe 10 or 12 we pretty much I feel got shunned from the "Family" so when we went to the hospital I was expecting a freak out of, "why are you here you're not a part of the family" sort of thing. luckily that did not happen. We embraced everyone and hugged everyone with love and comfort. My aunt, the one I have always felt still loves us, even though we made the move to get to where we are today. She is the one who lost her daughter, it was like Pastor Bagwell says, you can always tell who is really saved and at peace with the sitaution and you could so tell.
When we were there my dad gave my auntie some comforting words about how she was up in heaven. She died in her sleep, the hours before her death were as follows, she woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air, when the ambulance came she had little to no heartbeat and they were able to revive her for a short time. She had a heart attack that early morning, that afternoon another heart attack and a short time late brain dead. A half an hour after that gone with the wind. We found out that later she had quit and given up drinking cold turkey, so in that time, my family and I believe that she had then decided I need to get my life together and given her life back to Jesus. Jesus knowing what she was surrounded by and what she could potentially go back to doing said, "My leigh it's your time, to come with me whole, you gave your life back to me and now we will walk in peace together" having that comfort to share with my cousins who lost their sister is a peaceful heartfelt time.
I love my family despite what they have or have not done. We are still a part of his generation and I love them like Jesus loves them. I won't let the past get in the way. The toughest thing about this is celebrating my 22nd birthday. I will still celebrate and be joyous of what is to come but, I don't want anyone to think I'm cold hearted either. Praisin him in this strange place, and still having his comfort with me.
I want to ask one thing, Prayer.
Not just for my family in this time of grief
but this time where we need strength to get us
through this rough patch of awkward family.
We need to go into the services knowing what to say
how to say it, and not make this a big deal where the
5 Luceros have come.
We need strength that if something arises we can back away and leave
and not make a scene of what a life we will celebrate, what a great decision
Leigh made for her life, and her sons and daughter, and her grandbabies.
Peacefully Praying
