Beauty from Pain

It's so funny when you can be so high on life that something has to tear it down....you can't have beauty without that pain is what immediately came to mind when I thought that first thought up there. Gosh I had so much to praise praise and thank god for that I know I am not excempt from trail and tribulations but one thing tore it down.

So I've been listening to my prophetic word over and over again to re-energize myself and to get myself together because I was not going to let that one thing tear me down. So another part of my word was, "I am going to put you into a cycle of blessing and it will layer itself upon layers and layers of blessing" WOW right?!? "it will not be excempt from battle or pressure but if you daily ask for help making discerning decisions" that blessing will come to pass....I feel like everyday I've asked for help with this I have been a lot more calm (esp at work with 15 other women (ughhh sometimes x10)) and I have truly sought him out. Now more than ever I am having to ask him "Lord please help me hold my tongue" cause Gal I wanna go off sometimes. Another part of my word, "you are young and tender before me and time after time you have asked yourself God why did they CHOSE to do that, WHY did they not go the other way, my daughter I say to you, you will NEVER be like that, you WILL (like you have) always know the right decisions to make, you WILL NOT have to ask yourself, WHY" awww what a nice relaxing way to end this lil post...I feel like that was my let out....I don't and WILL NOT be one to ask myself WHY but I will know that I am making the right decisions because I am asking for HIS help....ahhhh THANK YOU JESUS!!

This song just popped up...."after all this has past I still will remain"

THE end.

Blessed

Soooo I have some very good news but I want to keep it a secret until it happens. I am seeing my word come to pass in ways I only dreamt about! I am going to tell you what this is in about two weeks.....after the 26th or on the 26th depending on how tired I am afterwards!! Ahhhhh I really just want it to be a shock surprise so I am trying to bite my tongue not to give too much away. Why am I even telling you the little I have?!? Well because telling that much is making it easier to keep this secret inside me contained ;) Well that is all I would like to say right now I just had to spill somethin


Farewell to all.
Waiting patiently :)

P.S. I think I am amazing! :)



Imagine bigger and more cozy pillows :)

 Oh Yes I am amazing! I am in awe of the person God has made me to be! Since I am moving out n' stuff within the next couple months my family is starting to get hit hard by it...they're getting worried we'll never see each other....like I am going to abandon the family or something.


Me abandon the family NO WAY!! My family and I do EVERYTHING together....like no joke all the time. We go grocery shopping together on the weekends and I love it! (I'm pretty sure they love it too) my mom always jokes around that she's going to leave my sisters and me at home because we're so comfortable in the store sometimes we mini wrestle (even with my dad). A couple of times I have sat in the middle of an aisle because I needed a break, or Shell Shell has tickled/twisted my arm and I have spasmed out and fallen on the floor. :) Then there's Ria who we often pick on for her shortyness (my word yep) and then Re-Re gets mad quickly so we upset her :) Then sissors and I like to venture off on our lonesome to look at make-up, clothes (wal-mart), jewelry, and many other things. Sometimes if my mom is at the store to long we venture off to the mall or Kohls. :) It's a great weekend tradition we always have had.


I think when I move out I'm going to tell my parent's that I still want to go grocery shopping with them on the weekends! Yes, Yes, I will tell them that tomorrow!! :) We're also going to have a "Friday night dinner" thing where I come over to eat or they come to my place (like on Gilmore Girls (Greatest show ever PS))




Lorelai and Rory=Great memories!


Another thing I will do when I move out I have decided to not have a dining room table with giant chairs. I hate sitting in chairs. They're hard and stiff and uncomfortable to me, I like COZY! So here's what I am going to do....I'm going oriental style....a mini table with giant pillows or bean bags to sit on at dinner time! :) Being that my momma has an artificial leg I will have to set up something so it's easier for her or she'll prolly take off her leg or somethin' :)


Shell's worried she'll never be able to ask me if I want a Jolly Rancher again, She's also said, "But Tella you can't move...I'm not done wearing your clothes yet" Hahaha Oh sissor shell you is crazy!


Ria's excited to have a whole clean house...I'm prolly the messiest out of the three....clothes everywhere....shoes everywhere....sometimes a heel goes in my foot :( and still I like things sprawled out not confined hahaha!


Ria is also worried my baby Minnie Pearl is going to die of sadness :( I think she'll be super excited to get lots of attention and she won't get picked on by Skyler...she'll be content with me uuuh-huhhh! :)




My room=a little worse :)

 Daddy, he's scared he's loosin his baby (me in case you didn't catch that ;p) he knows I can do it, and that I will be fine he's just daddy worried and I love that....there's gonna be many tears shed the first couple nights I am alone I am sure but, I know the plans God is leading me to and so does Daddy, which makes the experience that much more pleasure then sadness! LOVE MA DADDY!!


So, in the end moving time is approaching, the family is trying to get the idea wrapped around their minds and I...I am ready for this monumental occasion!

This darn zit

Ohh yeahhhh!!

Zit, so here we go first off I named it this because I sadly have three zits on my chin....there not spread out they're all in one direct spot so it looks like I have a huge bubble on my chin on the left side :( I am sad and I hope they go away.....these are random popped up ones because I rarely get zits nowadays which makes it more worse.



The pretty place I will move to in Parker!

 So other than my own personal zits as I sat here pondering why I would be having this issue and then I thought hey we all have zits in here in our life....both physically and with the people around us. Yes people! I was thinking about the people zits in my life and the ones that ERK me....there isn't a lot but a select few that I can count on my finger that really are pop worthy!! Buuuuttt that's all I am saying about that because I want to talk about growin up!

Yes, I am! Me who cares everyone has their zits and you get over them by the amazing great things and people you do have.

I am spacey when writing but who cares I do not have to be grammatically correct it's my thing :)
I have officially moved up my moving out date....I will officially have my own Apt by May!! YAYYYY So I have been saving my money like crazy for the deposit and the application fee and the furniture I will buy and holy moly it has been hard but it will be so worth it in the end....on top of that I will be finishing school for my teaching degree NEXT YEAR....life is so great! I am so excited!

Right now I am seeing how the experience will be by myself because right now I am doing a weekend babysitting with a few of my favorite kids that I babysit for. I'm not by myself obviously but the kids are asleep and I am upstairs doing hw (oh ps this is my break haha). The kids are in their rooms right next to me and I am watching FRIENDS. In my head this is what my life will be like with my new place.....late hw nights, TV, and snuggling with my Minnie Pearl, cooking my own food (which I do for the whole family anyway), and just me. Me and quiet time, that's what I am so excited for.

One of the greatest shows ever!

Okay so there's my rant and now I am done. I will now start my HW time again. Probably some FB too....and snack

Goodnight,
Tay

Jesus is_____

The Mix!! Gosh I LOVE it! I feel like right when I felt like Gal I'm not a leader in Pulse anymore, I just attend main service! Now don't get me wrong I love it down there, I have gained so much about where I need to be but just being in main service to me is not acceptable! I want to do more than just get the great word, I want to serve and witness to SOMEONE! So then The Mix started...holy wowzah! With the last couple of meetings I have grasped so much it sends tingles and shivers down my body. So we got this challenge a couple weeks ago...right around New Years time and here's the message in a nutshell....



-We A-- had to think of how we would start this new year out right....with a clean slate. Then Pastor Aaron went into further detail.....let's go with people...how can we have a clean slate with people. So then he had this paper passed out and on it it said, "Jesus is______" Pastor Aaron, "Jesus is what to you....to some he's hypocritical to others he's loving, to some he's imaginary, but what is Jesus to you..." The first things that came to mind, loving, forgiving, my lord and savior, awesome, and mighty is he!! He's everlasting and indescribable in a way. So then there's three more sections and they say, "Jesus is giving, Jesus is helpful, and Jesus blesses his enemies" and then in short paragraphs Pastor Aaron asks how can you give to someone in need....how can you help someone in need and think of your enemies and what can you do to bless them."
--He emphasized on time, everyone always says I am so busy I have so much going on in life.....annnnnd so did Jesus so you have to be like him right?!? So then the challenge came....what can you do for the next two weeks (before the next Mix meeting) to give, help, and bless your enemy.


--It was so funny that he said give because I had really wanted to take some time and hang out with a few of my "younger sisters" (I like to add them to the actual younger ones I have) and I spent some time with my Sonia love! I was giving up a Saturday to sleep in so that I could just have chill time with Sonia and hopefully not make it awkward :) (Sonia I hope you're not taking this in a bad way....it's not coming out how I want it to sound) Here this fixes it...I cleared my schedule and made sure to not set anything up that Saturday so that I could focus on Sonia and give her the time, talk, and love she needed. So I gave my time to Sonia so that we could chat and have girl time....Starbucks, Pedicures, A stalker trip to Marshalls ;) then to a movie to see "How do you Know" and then dinner at Chili's where bucket list came into play and we became the restaurant bandits ;) it was a great day to talk about so much and not have a dull moment! I really have been getting pushed to get to know more about my "younger sisters" Sonia, Gabby, and Tanisha! and I do not have to be in Pulse to do so.....to make the Michelle impact I have wanted to make! I LOVE THOSE GIRLS SO MUCH!! They mean the world to me just like my sister's do!!

The next challenge was to help someone in need, who do you know that could use a hand....it doesn't need to be extravagent just something you know will make an impact. So I thought of OH my co-worker....she's a single mom not even knowing where to go and is having a hard time....so I thought bless her with a SHINE magazine!! One that would best fit her needs and let her read it...not force her because there's only so much you can do to help but give her the encouragement she needs.

The harder challenge....blessing your enemies.....we all have them it's no lie....GAL even Pastor Aaron said a little about his. So here's the deal you take or give them something like a Starbucks card and tell them, "Hey God really placed you on my heart and I have really been praying for you this past week and I wanted to just give you a pick me up!" Now if you have enemies and they too know you're not friends ;) watch their reactions they'll be SHOCKED!! Now here's what I ended up doing....While Pastor Aaron was talking he said even just complimenting their outfit that day would be a nice gesture (I literally sat their thinking of who I was going to bless and TWITCHED because this person's outfits are outrageous and I could never say they looked good because I would be lying (hey it's honesty)) So I thought "okay I'll bring them coffee....they're always drinking coffee....now I would do it in person too...not over text, not putting something in their mailbox but going up to them in person showing them I truly was making the effort to bless them...going out of my way to give them something." So the reaction I got, I prayed too I didn't just say God placed them on my heart and not do anything about it but I prayed for them throughout the days of that week. The day came around and here was my opportunity....I was exhausted and I just wanted to sleep but I said "no I have to do this I have to bless them even though it will be weird and not the best time but God sees where I am at" so I got dressed, went to Starbucks got a White Chocolate Mocha, and then went on my way to take it to them...So I saw this person and they were with their male companion and I asked the person, "Do you have a minute?" she said..."Ummm does he need to come to?" "No this will just take a sec" "Ar-Ar-are you sure he doesn't need to be there" "Oh yeah I'm positive it's nothing bad I just want to give you something real quick" "we-we-we-well ummmm can he come please?" (as she is like death gripping his bicep) "Ummm sure (we go to a side hall and as we're walking) "I'm not planning on hitting or fighting you" (she literally had a face that looked like I was going to punch her or something it was quite hysterical). "So I just wanted to bless you with this coffee, God really brought you to mind the past two weeks (we got snowed out the first week I wanted to do this) and I have really been praying for you. I don't know if anything is going on but you just got a lot of extra prayers and I wanted you to have this warm coffee and the blessing from me, so here you go" and she was STUNNED she was SPEECHLESS the words slowly trickled out of her mouth, "ttthhhank youuuuuu?!?!?" and then a hug. Not much said but I totally got the reaction where she truly didn't ever see it coming and that's what I wanted I am not holding grudges and I think she really needed to see that. I haven't really seen this person around much but she later got my number from someone and text me later and said what she couldn't say in person, "wow thanks for the coffee, it was such a great surprise and thank you so much for the prayers"

See so what can you do?!? Can you get a reaction out of one of your greatest enemies like that,.....can you give your time to someone who has been wanting to hang out with you.....can you help someone who is going through a difficult situation?!? Everyone can truly use a great surprise....not just for a holiday but for any random day. Those are the best kinds of gifts you can give....give them to someone when they least expect it! You never know after that day how much you really made an impact in those people's lives!


So I challenge you.....can you GIVE, HELP, and BLESS YOUR ENEMIES?!?

Curious?!?

Sooo to start this off I'm going to go with the award I recieved from Morgan a couple days ago


7 things many people don't know about me:


*I'm allergic to cats and smoke...any kind of smoke (I found out I'm allergic to fire smoke this year at the Parade of Lights) I get wheezy and all red in the eyes and it kinda gets hard to breath like I have a hair caught in my throat.


*I'm moving out in August or October to be on my own without my parents (not because I don't love my parents but because God's really been dealing with me about being a grown up...it's a conversation him and I have had that really goes deep between him and I)


*I HATE the smell of Sweet Pea ANYTHING because that's all I got for like a year straight so the smell makes me want to puke!


*I KNOW not everyone can work with children and it truly takes a SPECIAL GIFT to be able to truly appreciate them through the good the bad and the ugly and if you're doing a child wrong I will tell you and not care what you think of me.


*I truly know some of my destiny and calling of where God wants me and I cannot wait to get there


*I've NEVER EVER EVER had a true girl best friend. Girls and I have never gotten along well enough to become close. Really and truly I open up to God and God alone and I don't have that girl friend bond. I pray God sends me someone to Sharpen me...I want that Iron sharpens Iron friendship!!


*I have big plans for my 22nd birthday because it is my golden birthday!! YAY!


Okay I changed my mind, it's late and I'm gonna crash now!! Goodnight!

My baby....

.....Has the cutest ways.....

.....Of sleeping and I LOVE IT!!

*Today=warm weather!

I just read through Jesseca's blog and liked hers, this one may be just as jumpy. I am starting to write before I head out the door for school. English class with my 1st GUY professor!! YIKES having guy teachers are always on the fence with me because I've had guy teachers that have A-hit on me BLEGH and B-guy teachers that are just plain buttheads and C-a select few that have been a great teacher and I loved how they taught. So after class I'll share about my experience!

Today I am going to share about my LOVELY job....the reason I go to english class and many others. I had to share this photo of the cute little TOMS!! This little girl Lily had them on Wednesday and they made me want TOMS so much because they just looked so cute on her little feet.
      Lily there's a story behind this little mini. Her dad died this summer, she turned 3 a couple days after his death. It's crazy, I go back to the first day I met Lily and her sister, Lauren (who is 5). My director Jennifer came in and introduced me to these two little girls, she told me there were going to be in my summer class and they were both very nervous,....more so Mom Lindsay was nervous about the situation. I didn't know until after I was introduced to these little ones that their daddy had past away. I later found out that he went into surgery to have something removed off(I cannot recall exactly what it was...something in the heart or brain, something major) and there were complications and he didn't make it through. These tiny little things walked into my care and truly I was held responsible for these little ones to make sure they had a great time. I had to make sure to ease mom into being comfortable and making the girls sort of happy while I'm sure everyone else in their world at the moment was mourning and they don't exactly grasp the concept of death quite yet. So I made sure to make this little Lily and Lauren have fun! I did just that! Helped them through their need of summer lovin'. These girls had so much fun and had the cutest smiles, voices, and so many other adorable quirks They came in everyday and sat on my lap or in my chair.


My Lily=Precious and Priceless



Later on that summer as time had past and mom grew more and more comfortable and happy (as happy as you can be after losing a spouse) one day the girls stood for After Care (so when the whole morning summer classes and afternoon classes were over they stood until about 4 or 430 (school ends at 2:50)) they stood with my mom (the after care teacher) well mom came in and the girls were playing in playland and their Mom told my Mom that Lily always tells her mom, "I just love Ms. Chantella! She's my hero!!" Gal I lost it!  When my mom told me that Lily says that I cried and then my mom continued to tell me how much their mom appreciates me and how much I have helped her feel safe with leaving the girls at school so she can get herself better for those girls. I still get teary eyed just thinking about it. (if my typing doesn't make sense it's because of tears streaming down my cheeks). This little thing thinks I'm her hero, now I know God is and was working miracles for that little one through me. I could not be her "Hero" without him helping me. This is why I know my passion, my calling, my ME goes here. God has given me a patience and peaceful heart to be able to do what I do not just for money cause I am definitely not doing it for money but doing it because I can make an impact in little girls and boys lives! "Thank you Jesus for putting me in this field, it is so rewarding and so humbling!"    I was just listening to this on my Pandora radio and GOSH it's a perfect fit....I am so lost without him...he gives me my guidance and direction I need. ".....Daily saith God ask me for the power to make discerning decisions, ask me for the power to chose to do what is right in my sight and I will put you in a cycle of blessing...." that right there is PART of the prophetic word I got on APRIL 25, 2010. WOW almost a year later and I know I am on that path of blessing and I have asked for his power to make any and all decisions....have I fought some YES but in the end I have given in and let go! For this I am GRATEFUL and I have listened to Jesus and I have done what I needed to do.

    One final story, a funny Lily story. Lindsay, Lily and Lauren's mom overheard the two girls arguing back and forth and decided to listen in, and here's what she heard, "I have a boyfriend and I am going to get married to him and you don't have one and you'll never get married!"-Lauren "Yes, yes I will!! You know what I am going to marry Ms.Chantella! Cause she loves me!!"-Lily Now of course it's just a funny story and they don't know that marrying girls is not okay haha but it was SOOOoooo cute to hear that story too! I love that she loves me so much and I love her tiny little body and feet that fit into little TOMS like this!! Beautiful Soul!

Now about school. Class tonight started at 5:30 and ended at 6:05...it's supposed to go until 8:15 but because he had an emergency he let class out early! Which I commend him for even having class because he was attached to his cell phone the moments we did have class so he could keep posted. Overall my first impression was WOW way different then my stick in the butt english teacher from last semester. He tries "to be funny" but he's quirky so I think I'll def have some fun in that class. He's very mellow so I am not nervous too much and I kinda made a class friend. Brittany and I both did....we are not talkers to strangers but I think because of how the teacher approached the class the rest of us felt at ease. All my nerves are calmed for this semester even though I have 5 classes and am working. I always work myself up only to know that I truly have it under control again because JESUS IS SO AWESOME! I'll have the strength to have those late nights (which I'm sure they'll come) and those early mornings (which happens OFTEN) but I am excited!!


Starbucks and Goldfish so I didn't get jittery during
the morning haha :)




The snow that fell last night
while I was babysitting
Collier and Kira
(6 and 7)

 Ps. I also had to share what AWESOME parents I have (not my mom and dad) but my students parents. Today it was cold when I did carpool and there was snow on the ground!  I woke up not wanting to get out of my blankets and when I got to work I didn't even want to take of my coat! Little did I know what I would be so thankful for! One of my parents of twins (Tanner and Allison 3 years old) would forget to bring shoes with her kids (they don't wear shoes in the car apparently, funny but understandable, less messy).   So Shannon (mom) went back home to grab their shoes.....she came back.....then she turned to us and said, "these are for you guys, it's a Starbucks kinda morning!" and she thought of us and we had extra hot Starbucks this morning! Thanks God for even helping me get out of bed to get my day started, so that I can get all the little surprises you have set for me that day! I LOVE YOU!


Goodnight, did you have any surprises even with the COLD weather?!?
Tay


P.s. right before I posted this on my Pandora Radio the song from "Sister Act Two" came on "Oh Happy day" and I think that's awesome because what a HAPPY day it was!! Thank you Jesus for my morning, afternoon, and evening on January 20, 2011!!